I pulled this word several days ago and then ended up not writing about it. For several days, I swept it to the back of my mind, yet it popped up here and there for me to reflect on.
My initial thought was “oh here it is again, a message reminding me that I don’t trust Source enough.” Sure enough, the first thing to come up is self-recrimination. After a simple moment, I was then struck with thoughts of celebration – I had come a long way from where I used to be, and I should celebrate that over beating myself up. (Woo hoo! – just to be clear, that’s woo hoo for celebration, not beating myself up)
I know that not all that long ago, I would have been petrified to retire (and probably would have delayed it even more). Financially, it is/will be a giant reorganization of my life, and I will probably need to supplement the income from Social Security. Emotionally, I am aware that the greatest thing that I can do is allow myself to decompress – allow the rest that I need into my life – allow myself to regenerate. Today, I am more certain that all is well. I find I am still reluctant to say “ALL is well” and believe that that is so. And, I find this a crux of the message – believe. Amusing, since as a Piscean, the key words are “I Believe.” Well, ok, busted. I don’t always. I have said for years, I do believe in miracles – especially for others; just not certain about myself. (So, I have often thought that the universe has a perverse sense of humor 🙂 )
Back to celebration….where I find myself is that I am more open to what will unfold, rather than the need to know how everything will come to pass. I am willing to trust the inner voice that says “relax, wait until you get a clear prompt to make a move.” “Trust that what you are doing now is just perfect.” “All will unfold with benevolence.” Nice voices to be heeding and to continue to believe in.
Then of course, I must acknowledge the fact that it really is about how much do I trust myself. Ahhh, the journey to grace is still going.